Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
