Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
