I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
