Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
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