and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
