i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
