So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
