I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
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