would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I think my moral compass just broke
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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