i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
