So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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