just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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