no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
