I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
