I wanna bring you to show and tell
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
