We're like a lot better than the average bears
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
