I wish I could punch you in the face.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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