Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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