Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
