I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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