No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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