32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
