I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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