It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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