I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
