I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
My bed is full of blood and feathers
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
