It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I fill condoms, not promises.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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