matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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