I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
