the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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