So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
