So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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