i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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