my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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