shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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