i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
