My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize