Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Randomize
