Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
