End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
