respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
