I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
