Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
