I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Randomize
