mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize
