The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Me. At least after what I've been through.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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