FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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