hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
As shirtless as possible
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
