And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
