went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
