My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
she peed on how many people?
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
