I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
