I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
