I am in a vortex of obligation.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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