If you die in college, do you die in real life?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Randomize
